Listening: the cure - friday i'm in love
mood: something like emotional feeling thing.. wat is it?

exactly this time. 3 yrs ago
was having my attachment on board a ship and writing this diary whom i suppose to present it to " " once i finish my service. but it's still with me till now.
at this date 3 yrs ago.. my entry starts...
'I'm sick. Sick? Yes sick. ....(all e usual complains bout the tiring life onboard).... Now here i am finding and spending my time alone while others watching movie, me going through pictures of " ", family and friends i have with me now. Now looking at " " with the red rose with her. ....(tell how the 'love' thing grows all)....
k the entry for that day was more to how i felt for " ", how i met her and some promises we made.

reading those, i can't imagine myself! its so wussy and all. but... but, its e truth. that is y till now, i am still trying to win her back. she decided to take a break and i've only accepted half heartedly actually, hoping so much that i will still win her heart after my attachment... but till now it is still going on. even when i've been told to carry on, move on... or watever they call it.
i can't. sorry... i can't.
i wanted to put up this one photo of " " i have while the others i give back to her, pretending how ok i was with e fact that we have to split. but i have to respect her privacy.
so after feeling emo, now i feel like a psycho having this entry. or am i?

at late night, loneliness and sleepless invites these miss feelings. my memories of u have not diminished. and to whom should i tell/share?
this anxiety is filling my head.

and if ur love were to bloom like it did before, for sure i wouldn't b this entangled. it's not my fault that all this (love affair) is shattered. when the trouble begin from u, the sharp words,
hence broken

i could not have imagined. your words are like bamboo shards. hurt this heart without sympathy in ur's
i just feel like shouting out my disappointment.

lovers forget their past. our love was strong in the past. where have u thrown my love once u held high.

why is all this happening? when i have never been unfaithful towards u.

too shy or am i taking it slow or too slow. or should i just give up.

i should have just ask her when we met last few weeks. but i know, there weren't the perfect moment. we were just beside each other. i could have just turn my head and start a conversation. while my ears was with e group. but my heart and mind was pushing myself to say something out.. but end up scolding myself. all we could do is giving smses and it'll b then left hanging as usual. now? regret right...

wat in e world i'm doing? get back in line! bariiiiis! sediiiiia! ouh fuck....